Interpersonal Communication Companion Site

Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM:  Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.

CHAPTER 3 Listening As an Interpersonal Skill - Activities - PowerPoint - Quiz

LISTENING AS AN INTERPERSONAL SKILL

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1. GLOBAL PERSPECTIVE

Music can be a way of finding common ground or understanding a perspective of another person or culture. Discuss the music linked below. Do you think the music is typical? Do you think this music might be popular with a particular group? What does the music suggest about interpersonal communication? If a link doesn’t work, search the Internet to find your own example for discussion.

Music from Kenya

UMOJA - A KENYAN ARTISTS COLAB http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1cPlS_azMU

You Bring Us Hope (Barack Obama song 2009) Oumar Sall – music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbmQOkE3RT0

INTERCULTURAL MIX

What do you think is the origin of this music? http://video.mail.ru/mail/poil00/203/887.html SHAHRUKH KHAN

FROM PAKISTAN

Ali Zafar - Dekha (NeW) (Pakistan Music Video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE63Zc5U3OQ

2. MUSIC

Many popular songs discuss principles of interpersonal communication. Listen to this music—or view the video—and discuss how this music supports or negates principles of interpersonal communication discussed in the textbook. If a link doesn’t work, search the Internet to find your own example. 

Rod Stewart & Amy Belle- I Dont Want To Talk About It http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RkWs6P2IwE

Do you think this video is negative stereotyping? Is there a difference between the way men and women listen?

3. PORTFOLIO

Write your answer to these questions in your own words.  Add them to your course portfolio as part of the course's core assessment.  You will need to synthesize each segment together into a coherent whole before the end of the course.

a. Explain how people define themselves as communicators.  Discuss listening style as part of your answer. Include yourself.

b. Evaluate perception’s influence on interpersonal communication.

c. Describe intercultural differences in values and communication and how that affects relationships.

4. GLOBAL OR LINEAR LISTENER

Based on the measure in the chapter, what is you thinking dominance and how might that affect your listening?  What communication techniques can you use to better adapt to a listener who is different from you?

5. MENTAL ATTENTIVENESS

Just for fun, complete this 54-item listening test or find a different one on the Internet. You can select "I don't want to answer" options regarding the demographic data at the end of the test. There are enough questions to help you think about your listening behaviors in various contexts.  Given the importance of listening effectively, how skilled are you? What do the results suggest  that you could do to improve your listening skills?

 http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer?req=MXw3MDN8NTQ3MDkwN3wxfDE=&refempt=1

6.  WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN

In US culture, we typically expect the speaker to be responsible for effective communication.  In many cultures, the listener is responsible.  If you haven't already taken the Willingness to Listen measure, do that now.  If you want to change your communication effectiveness, you can increase your willingness to listen.  How will you do that in interpersonal communication situations?

Directions: The following twenty-four statements refer to listening. Please indicate the degree to which each statement applies to you by marking whether you:

Strongly Disagree = 1; Disagree = 2; are Neutral =3; Agree = 4; Strongly Agree = 5

_____1. I dislike listening to boring people.
_____2. Generally, I can listen to a boring person.
_____3. I am bored and tired while listening to a boring conversation.
_____4. I will listen when the content of a conversation is boring.
_____5. Listening to boring people about boring content makes me tired, sleepy, and bored.
_____6. I am willing to listen to boring people about boring content.
_____7. Generally, I am unwilling to listen when there is noise during a conversation.
_____8. Usually, I am willing to listen when there is noise during a conversation.

_____9. I am accepting and willing to listen to communicators who do not adapt to me.
_____10. I am unwilling to listen to communicators who do not do some adaptation to me.
_____11. Being preoccupied with other things makes me less willing to listen to the other person.
_____12. I am willing to listen to the other person even if I have other things on my mind.
_____13. While being occupied with other things on my mind, I am unwilling to listen to people talk.
_____14. I have a willingness to listen to other people, even if other important things are on my mind.
_____15. Generally, I will not listen to a communicator who is disorganized.
_____16. Generally, I will try to listen to a communicator who is disorganized.
_____17. While listening to a non-immediate, non-responsive communicator, I feel relaxed with the person.
_____18. While listening to a non-immediate, non-responsive communicator, I feel distant and cold toward that person.
_____19. I can listen to a non-immediate, non-responsive communicator.
_____20. I am unwilling to listen to a non-immediate, non-responsive speaker.
_____21. I am willing to listen to a person with views different from mine.
_____22. I am unwilling to listen to a person with views different from mine.

_____23. I am willing to listen to a person who is not clear about what he or she wants to say.
_____24. I am unwilling to listen to a person who is not clear, not credible, and abstract.

SCORING:

Scores can range from 24 to 120. To compute the score on this instrument complete the following steps:
Step 1: Add scores for items 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14, 16, 17, 19, 21, and 23
Step 2: Add scores for items 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 20, 22, and 24
Step 3: Total score = 72 - Total from Step 1 + Total from Step 2.

Scores above 89 indicate a high willingness to listen. Scores below 59 indicate a low willingness to listen. Score between 59 and 89 indicate a moderate willingness to listen.

Source:

Adapted from Richmond, V. P., & Hickson, M. III. (2001). Going public: A practical guide to public talk. Boston: Allyn & Bacon. http://www.jamescmccroskey.com/measures/wtlisten.htm

7.  LISTENING SKILLS TEST

Directions:

Think about the effectiveness of your listening during interpersonal communication. To what extent do you agree with each statement about you?

1=Never or Not Sure, 2= Seldom, 3=Sometimes, 4=Often, 5=Usually

1. When I’m listening to someone on the phone, I do other things because I’m good at multi-tasking.

2. When someone is boring, I tune out the person.

3. When someone has different opinions or background from me, I don’t really listen.

4. If our surroundings are noisy or uncomfortable, I either remove the distraction or ask the other person to move to a location where we can have a focused conversation.

5. When I’m listening, I use nonverbals effectively. For example, I sit up, lean forward, and respond with my head, face, and eyes.

6. I’m an orally responsive listener, in that I show I’m listening through oral cues (e.g., “hmm,” “wow,” “uh-huh,” “really?”}. I use oral cues in both face-to-face and phone conversations.

7. I check my understanding during conversations by occasionally paraphrasing or restating what the other person says (e.g., “I hear you saying that. . . .” “Do you mean that. . .?”).

8. If I’m not sure what an email or text message means, I make the effort to telephone the person, place a video call, or talk face-to-face to make sure that I understand.

9. If I’m tired or have things on my mind, I don’t make the effort to listen.

10. When I receive a text from someone, I see and hear the other person in conversation with me--in my mind--and try not to assign negative or too much meaning beyond the words.

11. When I’m in a conversation, I do most of the talking.

12. When my mind strays during a conversation, I let the other person know, and I refocus (“I’m sorry, I was thinking about . . . . Will you tell me again?”).

13. When I talk face-to-face with someone, I put away electronics (e.g., take off my earphones, close my computer screen, pause the television program, don’t read or answer text messages).

14. When I’m listening, I try to put myself in the other person’s place and use empathy so that I see that person’s perspective.

15. I enjoy hearing what other people have to say.

Your Score

Step 1: Reverse your response for each of these items: 1, 2, 3, 9, and 11. For example, if you said “4” on number 11, give your self a response of “2” for item 11. These are negative listening behaviors, so agreeing with these items has a negative effect on your listening.

Step 2: Add the numbers of all responses together (including the converted responses). This total is your score.

Reflection

Your score should be between 15 and 75. If your score is 45 or higher, you’re probably using basic listening skills.

Analyze the results of your test. Examine which negative behaviors you agreed with (1, 2, 3, 9, and 11) or positive behaviors you disagreed with (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 12, and 13). Create a plan to improve your listening behaviors so that you are a more effective interpersonal communicator. How can you incorporate more positive communication behaviors in your listening? What is one behavior you will practice in your next conversation?

Source

Aitken, J. E. (2010). Listening skills test. Online instructor’s manual for Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.  Retrieved from http://onlineacademics.org/ICOMM/03/Learn.html