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Interpersonal Communication Companion Site Instructor's Manual Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. |
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ICOMM
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Interpersonal Communication Companion Site Instructor's Manual Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. |
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ICOMM Home - Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 Facebook - Glossary - Instructor's Manual - Journal Articles - References - Research Topics: Interpersonal Communication Theories -Table of Contents
All materials typically put in an Instructor's Manual are provided on this website. Because faculty may want additional test questions, they can email Joan E. Aitken directly for an electronic file. Please understand that faculty should not expect these questions to be secure. When requesting questions, please use your institutional email with official position and full contact information. Email.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Using Case Study in Research (Colorado State University) http://writing.colostate.edu/guides/research/casestudy/
The Times 100 http://www.thetimes100.co.uk/theory/theory.php?tID=173
Using the Case Study Method to Teach Interpersonal Communication
Braithewaite, D. O., & Wood, J. T. (2000). Case studies in interpersonal communication processes and problems. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.ISBN-10: 0534565387
An excellent resource for faculty: Ellet XE, W. (2007). The case study handbook: How to read, discuss, and write persuasively about cases. Cambridge: Harvard Business School.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
Why is effective communication crucial? Communication is meaningful in your life because it is how you know yourself . Communication is the basis for human contact. What is Communication? Conscious or unconscious. Intentional or unintentional. Process. Feelings and ideas are expressed. verbal and/or nonverbal messages. Messages sent, received, and comprehended. Communication is Dynamic. Continuous. Irreversible. Interactive. Contextual. This classic theory was developed by David Berlo and first presented in David K. Berlo, The Process of Communication: An Introduction to Theory and Practice (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1960). Models of Communication THE LINEAR MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Source Encodes Receiver Sensory channels Decode THE INTERACTIONAL MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Add to the original model: Feedback Adaptation THE TRANSACTIONAL MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Add to the models: Messages are processed simultaneously by the communicators.
COMMUNICATIVE NOISE Environmental noise. Physiological-impairment noise. Semantic noise. Syntactical noise. Organizational noise. Cultural noise. Psychological noise.
DEALING WITH NOISE Need to be flexible. Need to show sensitivity. Need to be adaptive.
THE BASIS FOR COMMUNICATION Nature and nurture. Ethnographic Theory of Needs proposes that the basic forces that determine human behavior are feeling secure, protecting one's space (territoriality), finding pleasure, and ensuring survival of the species.
INTRAPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Intrapersonal communication is the active internal processing of messages. Self-talk. Affirmations. Diaries.
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Interaction between two people who share a relationship. The basis for interpersonal transactions is the sending and receiving of messages in such a way that the messages are successfully encoded and decoded.
CULTURE "Culture is the rules for living and functioning in society."
Larry Samovar, Richard Porter, Edwin McDaniel, Intercultural Communication, A Reader 12 ed., (Boston, MA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning, 2009), p. 10.
What do you think? What makes up a culture or co-culture? Ethnicity? Nationality Social-economic class? Age? Geographic region?
Immigration statistics indicate that "whites, who currently make up around two-thirds of the US population, will become a minority (47%) by 2020. The largest minority in the US is currently Hispanic, whose proportion will double in the next decades to 29% in 2050. http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-02-11-population-study_N.htm"Whites to be minority in US by 2020: study," News.yahoo.com/s/afp/2008, February 11, 2008.
CHARACTERISTICS OF CULTURE Culture is learned. Roots are deep in the communication process. Culture is a dynamic system that changes over time; however, the deep structure of a culture resists change.
ETHNOCENTRISM Tendency to put a person's own culture and patterns of society as the essence of many decisions and judgments. Think one’s culture is best. Warning, you may find content offensive, but you can search the Internet for videos about ethnocentrism, such as this one What is Culture Ethnocentrism 0001
ETHICS AND COMMUNICATION Ethics is a study of what should serve as a framework for what is moral (acceptable) and immoral (unacceptable) behavior in a particular culture.[i] Your ethical value system is the basis for your decision-making and your understanding of why you will or will not take a particular stand or action. It is the basis for your communication ethics.
An Ethical Communicator Communicates truthfully. Never uses the objective of honesty as an excuse to be abusive or hurtful. Is assertive, may be persuasive, but never coerces another person. Never invents stories or information without explaining. Explains or gives credit to the source of information. Knows how to keep confidences. Owns up to biases, prejudices, and inappropriate behavior. Stops gossip and prejudicial comments. Avoids talking behind the back of another person, but instead confronts problems with others by using a content-based interaction. Avoids name-calling, personal attacks, or dredging up another person's past mistakes. Attacks the issue to be dealt with, rather than attacking the other person. Creates a positive interpersonal climate with the objective of supporting the needs of the individuals in the relational interaction.
BASIC CONCEPTS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Communication takes place within a system. Messages cannot be erased. Communication is proactive. The meaning of a given act of communication cannot be separated from the components of the communicative act ( participants, context, purpose) Interpersonal communication is culture-oriented. We teach others how to treat us. We communicate what and who we are. We seek to persuade. Meaning is in people, not in words. We cannot not communicate. People react to your actions. You do what you do because in the end you expect to achieve happiness. You cannot always have the same understandings and feelings as others. People would rather be praised than punished, punished rather than ignored.[1] Be curious, not furious.[2]
Quoted or closely adapted from Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Intrapersonal Communication Self-communication. Systematic interfacing with the self. Social reality--a relationship outside of a social context and making it real through processing ideas internally.
Self-talk Influences Behavior. Your feelings. Your self-esteem. Your level of stress. Inner attitudes, our attitudes shape our behavior.
Avoid the Psychological Vulture Attacks a person’s perceived weaknesses. Eats at the person’s self-worth.
Typical Self-Putdowns (Vultures) Intelligence vultures. Creativity vultures. Family vultures. Relationship vultures. Physical vultures. Sexual vultures.
Self-fulfilling Prophecy What you predict to happen, will happen. What you expect to do wrong, will be done wrong.
Private List Take a minute to jot down all the vultures that eat at you. Think about behaviors you could try to change them. Talk with a partner about ideas for changing the things that bother you and interfere with effective interpersonal communication.
Effective self-talk can include various memory techniques: Chunking. Ordering. Reordering. Context organizing. Mnemonics.
COGNITIVE PROCESSING Each of us carries with us values (what you perceive to be of positive or negative worth), attitudes (your perspective and viewpoints), and beliefs (your convictions).
IMBALANCE The imbalance between your values, attitudes, and beliefs is called cognitive dissonance. Guilty conscience. Instead of brooding: There is nothing you can do about it now, and go on from there, with the internal pledge of not doing it again.
SELF-CONCEPT Self-confidence—a feeling of competence and self-assurance. Self-esteem--an awareness that we are distinct. Choice Therapy--we live and act in the moment as people responsible for ourselves.
THE SELF Idealized self--what you perceive yourself to be if you were "perfect." Real self--what you think of yourself when you are being most honest about your interests, thoughts, emotions, and needs. Should self--contains all the "oughts" and "shoulds" that serve as your moral guidelines. Public self--the you you let others know.
THEORIES OF SELF-CONCEPT Self: the spiritual, the material, the social, and the physical. Social interaction. Situational.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SELF How well do you know yourself? How open are you with others?
SELF-IDENTITY AND COMMUNICATION Social Interaction Theory claims that the presentation of our self is actually a carefully conceived performance.
COMMUNICATION ANXIETY Publicly anxious people are strongly hesitant about communicating with others. Privately anxious people mentally resist active communication, but will participate--often by forcing themselves.
Other concerns to consider: Listener apprehension. Effects of communication anxiety.
Solutions Skill training to deal with anxiety. Systematic desensitization. Cognitive modification. Willingness to communicate. Drug therapy.
Positive Visualization Practice positive visualization. Accept the anxiety.
END
Visuals from Microsoft Clipart or as marked. INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Quoted directly or closely adapted from Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
The Problem Most US Americans spend more than half—as much as 80% of the day hearing—but actively listening only about half the time. Unfortunately, they understand and remember less than 25% of what they hear.
Based on materials developed by Robert Montgomery as they appear in Berko, R., Rosenfeld, L., & Samovar, L. (1997). Connecting: A culture-sensitive approach to interpersonal communication competency (2nd ed.). Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace College Publishers, p. 100. THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING Personal relationships. Education. Business. THE LISTENING PROCESS PERCEPTION Perceptual filter--screens what you notice (perceive) and separates what makes sense from what doesn’t. Selective perception--focus to some specific information.
The Role of Global or Linear
Brain dominance. Affects thinking and listening Linear learners or listeners Logical. Specific sequence. Take information at face value. Global listeners or learners Concrete. Visual. Spatial. Generalized description. Talk about it: Are you a global or linear listener? LISTENING EVALUATION Differentiate factual statements (those based on observable phenomena or common acceptance) from opinions (inferences or judgments). Ask questions and seek clarification. Recognize emotional biases. RESPONSE Questions. Feedback. LISTENING INFLUENCERS Interpersonal communicator. Message. Channel. Memory and time.
PURPOSES OF LISTENING Discriminative listening, distinguish among auditory and visual stimuli. Comprehension listening, understand and remember. Therapeutic listening, think through a problem. Additional purposes of listening. Critical listening, analyze and judge. Appreciative listening, simply enjoy. Compassionate listening, open-minded and no judgment PARAPHRASE AND PROBE The issue is . . . You think . . . You want . . . You are feeling . . . You need . . . Weingarten, R. U. (2006, November 12). Communication with compassion: The art of listening. A report of the Bikur Cholim Conference. Turn to me: Faces and phases of Bikur Cholim. New York, p. 4.
"There’s something about
the respectful silence and attention of the listener that brings
out feelings that need comfort or affirmation." Borysenko, J. (2006, November 12). Guilt is the teacher, love is the lesson, p. 78, as cited in Weingarten, U. Communication with compassion: The art of listening. A report of the Bikur Cholim Conference. Turn to me: Faces and phases of Bikur Cholim. New York.
LISTENING RESPONSE STYLES Active, figure out key ideas while creating mutual understanding. Recommending, advice giver. Information-seeking. Critical, pass judgment. Discussion How is your listening influenced by your culture? In Chinese, note the similarities between the words ear and heart as components of listening. Listening 聽 Ear 耳朵 Heart 心臟 HIGH CONTEXT-LOW CONTEXT CULTURES Low: US High: Japan Practice Pair with a partner. One person be the source and the other the receiver. Talk about easy topics, such as your major, things you like to do, sports. The listener needs to practice questioning and paraphrasing. After a few minutes, switch roles. LISTENING APPREHENSION May be a long term disability. Less able to interact effectively. Worried about is how you will respond. Less thinking or preparing. SOLUTIONS TO LISTENER APPREHENSION Relax. Take notes. Paraphrase. Prepare. IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS Recognize joint communication responsibility. Reserve judgment. Be a tolerant listener. Use engaging nonverbals. Control distractions. SKILL IMPROVEMENT CONTINUED Avoid egospeak. Egospeak is the "art of boosting our own ego by speaking only about what we want to talk about, and not giving a hoot in hell about what the [other] person is speaking about." A concept first discussed in Addeo, E., & Burger, R. (1974). Egospeak. New York: Bantam Books, p. xiv.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. Language creates a social reality Affects the way people view the world. Creates rules. Creates values about how to live and act in a culture. What is language? "Communication of thoughts and feelings through a system of arbitrary signals, such as voice sounds, gestures, or written symbols." Such a system includes rules for combining its components, such as words. Definitions of language. (2009). The American heritage dictionary. Retrieved from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/languageCybernetic Process
HOW DO YOU LEARN SYMBOLS? Language-Explosion Theory Your language develops as a basis from the key people in your early life. Your primary caregivers—such as your mother, father, baby-sitter—talked to you as an infant. That interaction became the basis of what you learned about using language. Significant-Other Theory Most important person in your early development, such as your mother, become the key influence in your language development.
Language Instinct Theory Language is a human instinct, wired into our brains by evolution much like spiders spin webs. Language is a biological adaptation to communicate information. Social Construct of Reality Theory Our words and language shape the way we view the world. Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis reinforces the concept of social reality in that it states that the language we use guides how we see and interpret the environment and helps shape our ideas. Argot, a jargon or slang which is a special vocabulary that mirrors experiences.
What do you think? Write a list of the ten most common languages of the world (by number of people who speak the language). Then find an Internet site that names the most frequently spoken languages. http://anthro.palomar.edu/language/language_1.htm or http://www.krysstal.com/spoken.html or find a site of your choice. Were you correct? How might language differences affect your interpersonal communication? How is the list different from your perception? http://gobudgettravel.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/languages21.pngCHARACTERISTICS OF LANGUAGE Linguistics is the study of the common elements in all languages. Language is symbolic. Language is dynamic.
Languages are rule-governed. Rules that govern how words can be arranged are called syntactic rules. Languages have different types of words. Languages have categorical order to them, such as verbs and nouns. Languages contain denotative (dictionary) and connotative (feelings) and meanings based on your frame of reference. Two-valued Orientation Separating fact from inference. See if you can lower your tendency to jump to conclusions in this case: http://www.dh.id.au/InfTest1.htm Internet links change quickly, so investigate or find comparable content on your own.How can you improve your use of language? Language distortion is caused by Vagueness. Doublespeak (imprecise use of language designed to be confusing). Uncertainty. Doubt. Mental leaps. Message problems. Word Perception Reading "test:" http://www.begent.org/test.htm Internet links change quickly, so investigate or find comparable content on your own. Word Game of the Day http://www.merriam-webster.com/game/index.htm Cultural-negative Language Expresses stereotyped attitudes or feelings of superiority of one culture over another.
THE LANGUAGES PEOPLE USE Dialect--regional use of a language. Accent--ways of pronunciation. Inarticulates are vocalized pauses between words with meaning. Videos: Spicy Cajun Accents (from AMERICAN TONGUES) - Appalachian English - Dollywood Appalachian Christmas (American Sign Language) Regional Pronunciation Standard American English Standard dialects (high prestige) and nonstandard dialects (low prestige). Dialect linguists consider representative of the US American public. Video: Fox News and Black English - Development of Broadcast Standard US English - George Lopez - Spanglish - Chinglish
Gender Communication Quiz 1 Women use more words to make their point. 2 Men are more competitive in their speaking. 3 Men tend to be more task oriented. 4 Women are more supportive conversationalists. 5 Men are more direct in their communication. 6 Women disclose more personal information to others than men do. 7 Women have larger vocabularies for describing emotions and aesthetics.
Actually, women and men use the same number of words per day (about 16,000). Women do use a wide variety of words to describe emotions and aesthetics. Men Men tend to use a more competitive style in communication. Most men are more task oriented in their communication and women are more likely to be maintenance oriented. Men Listen Differently, but Well Men tend to be less responsive nonverbally. Men are more interested in visual stimulation, physical details.
Women Women tend to use more supportive communication. Women tend to use less direct communication than men (tag questions, hedges). Women often tell more personal information than men do.
GENDER COMMUNICATION IN THE WORKPLACE "Men go to work as if they’re going to battle, whereas women go to work as if they’re going to the village square." "Men don’t like to ask questions, because they’ve been traditionally brought up and conditioned to think that their job as a man is to have all the answers. For women, asking questions is a valid way of getting information that works well for them. But men look at a woman and think, ‘She must not know enough to do her job.’" "Men communicate to share what they know; women communicate to establish relationships." What do you think about gender differences in communication? Think about it: What are some logical arguments for a less-gender-based approach to effective interpersonal communication? Women need to communicate more like men. Men need to communicate more like women. My Language Development A. Who are five people or things that influenced your language development? B. Circle the name of the person who or thing which was the most influential. C. List at least five specific things the person/thing taught you. Submit your paper to the professor. Discuss with a partner: What did you learn about yourself and your language learning process from this activity? Semantic Differential Rate the concept Your College or University on the following scales by circling the number that best reflects your feelings. The endpoints 1 and 7 are defined by the adjectives. The numbers between them represent less extreme positions. For example, on the first scale, 1 = bad, 2 = somewhat bad, 3 = slightly bad, 4 = neither good nor bad, 5= slightly good, 6 = somewhat good, and 7 = good. bad 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 good not satisfying 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 satisfying boring 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 exciting tense 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 relaxed
You can get a sense of your semantic differential, whether your connotations for the concept Your College or University are positive or negative simply by adding your responses to the four scales and comparing your sum with the highest score possible, 28, and the lowest score possible, 4. If your sum is close to 28, your connotations are positive. On the other hand, if your score is close to 4, your connotations are negative. Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Nonverbal = Non word Nonverbal signals operate together in a cluster, an interactive grouping. Congruency Notice whether the present actions are parallel to or different from past actions. THE BASIS FOR NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Innate neurological programs are automatic nonverbal reactions to stimuli with which you were born. These nonverbal "automatic responses" are reflexive reactions caused by neurological need drives CULTURAL INFLUENCES Reflective reactions are the nonverbals you use because you were taught them by your family, friends, and culture. You reflect back the nonverbal communication of people you observe in your life.
Action Chain A behavioral sequence of standard steps for reaching a goal. Euro Americans engaged in business dealings with Arabs, for example, should understand and adhere to that culture’s action chains of hospitality in order to be successful. THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WORDS AND NONVERBAL CUES Substituting relationship. Complementing relationship. Conflicting relationship. Accenting relationships. CONCEPTS OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION For emotional content, nonverbal communication is more accurate and easy communication than words. Culture influences the way people communicate emotions. Nonverbal communication conveys meaning naturally. Nonverbal acts work better than words when you want to soften communication. Nonverbal behaviors indicate how you should interpret the verbal messages you receive.
CLASSIFICATIONS OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Kinesics is the use of the body to communicate. Face: "The 80 muscles of the face can create more than 7,000 expressions."
Jordan, N. (1986, January). The face of feeling. Psychology Today, p. 8; for an extensive discussion on the face and its effects on human communication, see Knapp & Hall, Chapter 9; for additional reading, see Heisel, M. J., & Mongrain, M. (2004). Facial expressions and ambivalence: Looking for conflict in all the right faces. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 28(1), 35-52. Pupilometrics is a theory of nonverbal communication, which suggests that eyes dilate when they are focused on a pleasurable object, and contract when focused on those which are not pleasurable. Gestures include posture, walk, stance, hand movements, body shifts and head nods which can give clues about a person’s status, mood, ethnic and cultural affiliation, and self-perception. Gestures Speech-independent gestures are not tied to speech. These gestures are referred to as emblems. Speech-related gestures are directly tied to, or accompany, speech. Adaptors are movements that accompany boredom, show internal feelings, or regulate a situation (e.g., foot tapping). Affect displays are facial gestures that show emotions and feelings such as sadness or happiness. Pouting, winking, and raising or lowering the eyelids and eyebrows are examples of affect displays. Emblems are nonverbal acts that have a direct verbal translation or dictionary definition, which usually consist of a word or two. Illustrators are kinesic acts accompanying speech that are used to aid in the description of what is being said. Regulators are nonverbal acts that maintain and control the back-and-forth nature of speaking and listening between two or more people. Nods of the head, eye movements, and body shifts are all regulators used to encourage or discourage conversation.
MORE CLASSIFICATIONS OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Touch. Posture, Walk and Stance. Artifacts are those things which adorn the body. PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS Attractiveness. Height. PROXEMICS--SPATIAL COMMUNICATION Proxemics is the study of how individuals use space to communicate. Space can include the distance people stand from each other, the perception of territory, how many people make a space feel crowded, and similar spatial considerations.
SPACE DISTANCES Intimate space distance covers a space varying from direct physical contact with another person to a distance of eighteen inches (private activities). Personal space distance, eighteen inches to four feet, is sometimes called the comfort bubble. Social space distance covers a four-foot to twelve-foot zone that is used during business transactions and casual social exchanges. Public space distance may dictate a separation of as little as twelve feet, but it is usually more than twenty-five. Nonverbal Immediacy Scale Small-Group Environment Small-group ecology, which includes the placement of chairs, the seating placement of the person conducting a meeting, and the setting for a small-group encounter, clearly influences the group’s operation. PARAVOCALICS--VOCAL COMMUNICATION Vocal quality. Pause—stopping, hesitation, length of pause. Pitch—highness or lowness of tone, such as soprano or bass. Rate--how fast you talk. Stress—emphasis or intensity of sounds all have particular meanings. Volume--how loudly you talk. Improvisation Video Sound EffectsTIME AS COMMUNICATION Circular time, there is no pressing need to achieve or create newness, or to produce more than is needed to survive. Linear time, focused primarily with the future. These societies focus on the accurate and technical information needed to fulfill impending demands.
Technical time is precise time, as in the way some scientists look at how things happen in milliseconds. Formal time is the way in which a culture defines its time, and it plays a daily role in most of our lives. It refers to centuries, years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes. Informal time refers to a rather flexible use of time such as "soon," or "right away."
In a monochronic culture, like the US, why are some people chronically late? Chronic lateness is often deeply rooted in a person’s psyche. Need to feel special. Believes he or she is better than other people and doesn't have to play by the rules. Needs for perfectionism, punishment, power, or as an expression of hostility. To punish yourself. To control others. To show disdain for others, thus demonstrating your hostility. SMELL AS COMMUNICATION Smell blindness occurs when a person is unable to detect smells. Smell adaptation occurs when we gradually lose the distinctiveness of a particular smell through repeated contact with a specific odor. SMELL AS COMMUNICATION The ability to recall previous situations when encountering a particular smell is smell memory. Smell overload takes place when an exceptionally large number of odors or one extremely strong odor overpowers you. The ability to identify people, places, and things on the basis of their smell is smell discrimination AESTHETICS AS COMMUNICATION Aesthetics is the study of communication of a message or mood through color or music. How do aesthetics affect the way you feel? This video cannot be played here. Spray paint art - Latte Art
TASTE AS COMMUNICATION Taste blindness is the inability to taste. Some people have extremely sensitive tasting abilities. These individuals are hypergustoric. Taste adaptation takes place when you become used to a taste to the degree that you can eat a substance and not taste it.
END CHAPTER 5 Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
A connection, association, or involvement, an emotional or other connection between people. Constantly in a state of flux, continually changing. Relationships can be classified as (1) role relationships, (2) acquaintances, (3) friends, (4) good friends, and (5) intimate relationships. Role relationships Characterized by your interacting with others in light of the roles (such as the positions, functions, or jobs) you and the other person play. Acquaintances People in your life, for either short or long periods of time with whom you share a common experience or context. Friends Much more than acquaintances—you know more about your friends than your acquaintances, your friends know more about you than their relational acquaintances, you feel comfortable with friends.
Good friends Much more than friends—you know more about your good friends than your friends, and, likewise, they know much more about you. Intimate relationships When people are married or in long term partnerships. Have the most intricate set of rules about what may or may not be discussed, and what behaviors may or may not be tolerated. CULTURE AND RELATIONSHIPS As people from various cultures integrate into the United States population, they carry with them their cultural patterns. POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS A good relationship allows freedom of expression and reflects acceptance of the idea that the feelings of both people are important.
We cannot achieve happiness through someone else. If it is to be found, it must be found within ourselves. Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. Each person is totally responsible for his or her own happiness. Communication is the key to creating and maintaining positive relationships. Successful relational communication guidelines: Use "I" messages. Respond to what the other person has said. Give the other person freedom of speech. Set aside talking time. No labels. We teach others how to treat us. Warnings Teasing can also be destructive. Psychological manipulation also can result in relational trouble. Relational fusion takes place when one partner defines, or attempts to define, reality for the other. Unhappy Relationship People who are unhappy in their relationships tend to talk at each other, past each other, or through each other, but rarely with or to each other
RELATIONSHIPS Are complex. Have goals, structure, and rules. May have dialectical tension, our intrapersonal and interpersonal conflicts over our wants and needs. Have different goals for different types of relationships. Intimate relationships Provide stimulation. Present a non-threatening arena in which to try out new ideas and behaviors. Increases enjoyment of certain activities. Provide an opportunity for self-disclosure. Accompanying the rewards, however, are potential costs, the greatest of which is rejection by the other person. Relational Structure or Patterns. Complementary relationship, behaviors seem to go together. Symmetrical relationship, contribute equally. Parallel relationship, alternating roles. Relational Rules Respect the other's privacy. Use empathy. Keep confidences. Never criticize publicly. Repay debts, favors, or compliments, no matter how small. Relational structure rules Stand up for the other in absence. Share news of success. Show emotional support. Trust and confide in each other. Volunteer your help. Strive to make the other person happy when together. Never nag. SYSTEMS APPROACH TO RELATIONSHIPS The rules for a relationship develop gradually. A system that is operating to the general satisfaction--functional relational system. If someone wants alterations, wants to do things that are not normally done--dysfunctional relational system. MAKING IMPROVEMENTS As a system is being recalibrated—restructured—growth can take place Theory of Love/Like Love is an emotional feeling of relational bonding. Like is a rational evaluation of a person which is conditional. COMMITMENT A pledge to become involved in or to the continuation of a relationship or project. Includes your intentions. Includes your perception of the other's intentions. Intimacy--emotional closeness and intellectual sharing. How much do you really know about each other? To what degree are your life and the other person's life intertwined and interdependent? Do you trust each other? The intimacy of a relationship may be determined by examining three factors. What is the breadth and depth of the information you and your partner know about each other? In what ways are you and the other person's lives interdependent? How much do I trust my partner to accept me just the way I am? Gender Differences? Men generally tend to develop their intimacy by doing things together. Women tend to establish intimacy through personal talk, disclosure, mutual projects. The Economic Model of Relationships When there are more rewards than costs, or a big reward that outweighs the cost, then we will value the relationship.
END Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
RELATIONAL DEVELOPMENT: BEGINNING, MAINTAINING AND ENDING Relationships have a sequential pattern: an entry phase (beginning), a personal phase (maintenance), and an exit phase (end). BEGINNING A RELATIONSHIP Establishing a new relationship—one that goes beyond a few minutes of superficial chatter—is difficult. Meeting strangers often brings out our insecurities and our self perceived flaws. BEGINNING A RELATIONSHIP Attractiveness is your impression of someone as appealing. Proximity JUDY GARLAND: 'THE BOY NEXT DOOR‘Familiarity, a knowledge and understanding of someone, although it may breed contempt, more often breeds liking.
Cyberdating Be realistic. Eliminate traits you can’t live with. Take your time. Ask yourself if there are any warning signs of potential abusive or psychotic tendencies. Be safe. Be smart. Personal Ads Gain attention with a catchy headline. Tell about yourself with necessary information. Get to the point. Give an idea of what you're looking for. Additional Choices Fee-Based Introduction Services. Speed Dating. Matchmaking. Relational Coaching. Steps for Initiating Relational Communication Look for Approachability Cues. Initiate a Conversation. Find Topics to Talk About. Talk About a Variety of Topics. Share Plans for Future Interaction. Creating a Good Impression Be cooperative. Be caring. Be memorable. MAINTAINING A RELATIONSHIP Relationships are two-sided. You have control over only one of those sides...yours. Understand goals of both people. Adapt to changes. Follow the rules. Pay attention to the process. Work at success. Personal Ads Continued Talk about your interests and activities. Offer a suggestion about how you could spend time together. Convey a sense of your personality. Be honest! Select the right picture. Achieving Your Objectives Information is the basis for effective relational decision-making. Self-disclosure—is the process of revealing a depth and breath of your self so that you can begin, maintain and develop a relationship. Self-disclosure Is NOT an all-or-nothing proposition. Begins slowly with revealing positive aspects of yourself. Progresses—if at all—to greater breadth, depth, and amount. Appropriate Self-Disclosure Is the disclosure relevant to the relationship? How likely is the other person to treat the disclosure with respect? Is the person a gossip? How constructive is the disclosure likely to be for the relationship? Can you communicate your disclosure clearly and understandably? Self-disclosure Self-disclosure is risky. The primary fear associated with self-disclosing is fear of rejection. Compliance gaining An active process to direct and influence your communication partner's behavior. List of 64 compliance gaining strategies: http://www.kkcomcon.com/KCGStrat.pdfFor a discussion on compliance gaining, see Canary, D., Cody, M., & Manusov, V. (2008). Interpersonal communication: A goals-based approach (4th ed.). Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martins, Chapter 12. Relationships end for a variety of reasons Goals may be fulfilled and no new goals established. Goals may not be accomplished and there may be little chance of achieving them. Goals may be fulfilled and no new goals established. Goals may not be accomplished and there may be little chance of achieving them. The partners may continue to feel lonely despite their relationship. The patterns of interaction may be too fixed, too inflexible, or too boring. The initial attractiveness may fade and nothing new may replace it. New relationships may appear more attractive.
Ending a Relationship Terminating a relationship often involves changes in other relationships. Confront the other person with your desire—a direct relational dissolution strategy. See the other person less—indirect relational dissolution strategy. Self-oriented or Other-oriented Strategies Self-orientation: fait accompli ("I've decided this is over!") withdrawal ("I'm going to be busy all next week") cost escalation ("If you want me to go with you, you'll have to give up going out on Fridays with your friends") attributional conflict ("It's your fault, jerk!"). Other-oriented state-of-the-relationship talk ("Where is this relationship going?") pseudo-descalation ("I think we should see less of each other for a while"—when no contact really is desired) negotiated farewell ("Let's rationally discuss how to end this without fighting") fading away (seeing the other person less and disclosing less)
Most frequently used disengagement Unilateral desire to exit (one person wants out). Coupled with an indirect strategy (the person decreases contact, claims a desire to reduce contact when no contact is really the goal, or makes contact very costly for the other person). No attempts at repair (the pair say good-bye with no expectation for future contact). Knapp Relationship Escalation Model Initiation Stage. Intensifying Stage, self-disclosure starts. Integrating Stage, duo-based terms. Bonding Stage, a formal. Differentiating Stage. Knapp Relationship Termination Model Differentiating Stage, differences. Circumscribing Stage, less communication. Stagnating Stage, avoid. Avoiding Stage, separating. Terminating Stage.
END Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
How might conflict be good for a relationship? Conflict can play a positive role in healthy and growing relationships. What is your response to conflict? Do you scream, cry, call names, throw things, slam doors or hit people? Do you stop talking, withdraw, glare at the other person, mutter hostile remarks under your breath? Do you try to reason things out, discuss the problem, seek answers that help both you and the other person? Do you behave differently in different conflicts? Conflict occurs when . . . one person feels upset or frustrated because of a perception that another person has interfered with the first person's goals.
Conflict "I want (a personal need, concern, or want), but (insert the name of the person or thing which is perceived to be stopping you from accomplishing your goal) wants (insert his or her need, concern, or want). Application: Think of a recent relational conflict you have had. Complete the "I want . . . but . . . wants" for that conflict. I want ___________________________________________________________, but ______________ wants ______________________________________________________. ______________________________________________________________________________ What about you? List several positive messages or "healthy" techniques as you can that were given to you by each of these sources regarding conflict and conflict solution. Family (e.g., "In this house we talk out our problems, we don’t hit.") Family? School? Media? Do you avoid conflict? People from conflict-avoidance societies believe that people should stay clear of disagreements. People from certain Asian and Native American cultures find haggling to be offensive. What are stages of conflict? Level 1: No conflict. Level 2: Hidden conflict. Level 3: Problems to solve. Level 4: Argument. Level 5: Help (third party). Level 6: Fight or flight. Level 7: Intractability (don’t want solution). Anger Anger is a feeling of irritation, frustration, resentment, or antagonism toward oneself or another person. Anger is a signal worth listening to. How do behaviors cause problems? Implosive anger is directed toward the self. Explosive anger is directed outward. Verbal Shooting Gallery Think about conflicts you have had with your parents/caretakers, siblings, co-workers and friends. What are phrases you heard that affect you? Write them out and turn them in to your professor. That’s ridiculous. Unbelievable. Leave me alone. You’ve done it again. Communication and Anger Wait before you react in anger. Use the extra energy generated by anger constructively. Apologize if necessary. Can you think of an example of each of these SOURCES OF CONFLICT DEPENDENCE/INTERDEPENDENCE FRUSTRATION Limited Resources Individual Differences Differences in Defining A Relationship Competition SOURCES FOR PERCEPTIONS OF CONFLICT Where do you get your perceptions about conflict? FAMILY EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS MEDIA How can you DEAL WITH ANOTHER PERSON’S ANGER? Figure out what you need to do for yourself, and do it. Fight fair by confronting with respect. How can you fight with fairness and respect? Find out information and adapt. Keep arguments in the present tense. Change yourself and what you can control. Use appropriate timing. Behaviors of Fair Fighting Select an appropriate setting. If you're in a destructive conflict, stop. Identify realistically what you need to get out of the transaction. PERSONAL STYLES OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION Can you think of examples? Which do you use? Conflict avoidance. Smoothing over. Conflict compromise. Conflict aggression--need for power. Assertion.
PRINCIPLES OF ASSERTIVENESS No one can read your mind. Habit is never justification. People can only makes themselves happy. What you think of yourself is what matters most. Ask yourself, "What’s the worst thing that could happen to me?" Principles of assertiveness continued. Insist on proper treatment. Action, not worrying, is needed. Adopt the attitude that you will do the best you can, and if someone else does not like it, that is her or his problem, not yours. Be aware that assertiveness has consequences. A*S*S*E*R*T formula: Action needed is . . . Subjective interpretation using "I" message. Subjective interpretation while describing feelings. Effects of the action. Request what you need/want. Tell your intentions
When might NEGOTIATION be a helpful approach to conflict? Win-win negotiation is best! Win-lose negotiation (you win) Lose-win negotiation (other wins) Lose-lose Steps in a WIN-WIN resolution: Step 1. Define the conflict for yourself before approaching the other person. Step 2. Communicate your understanding of the problem assertively to the other person. Step 3. Based on your understanding of your own and the other's perspective, try to arrive at a mutual, shared definition of the problem and a mutual, shared goal. Step 4. Communicate your cooperative intentions. Step 5. Generate solutions to your shared problem. Step 6. After you've suggested all the solutions you can think of, evaluate them and select the best one. Step 7. Implement the solution. Step 8. Plan to check on how the solution is working. Application: A*S*S*E*R*T Yourself. Work with a partner or small group to write out a response to a problem using the assert formula. One person will need to be the spokesperson to read your response to the rest of the class. A: Describe the action that prompted the need for the assertive message. S: Express your subjective interpretation with "I" language. S: Express your subjective interpretation about how you feel. E: Indicate the effects of the action. R: Make your request. T: Tell your intentions.
END Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
P!nk - Family Portrait http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSjIz8oQuko
Family A group of interconnected people typically with blood or legal ties. Communication The configuration of your family can have an effect on your communication. What are some examples? Family Configurations Nuclear family Gay or lesbian family Extended family (biological or communal) Blended--Step family Single-parent family Couple, cohabitating families Family and Culture Gender expectations Parent and child role Sharing Concept of collectivism versus individuality Extended family Family and Communication Communicate to create and maintain family. Deal with issues of closeness and distance. Maintain traditions. Make decisions. Deal with problems. Family Conversations Inform others about the kinds of relationships you have with members of your family Explain to others how your family fits within the larger culture. Define family relationships with individual family members .
Turner & West, p. 5. Communication Rules What family members can talk about. How family members can talk about these topics. Rules governing to whom family members can talk about these topics. What is a communication rule in your family? Family Matrix (knowingly or unknowingly) Images. Themes. Boundaries. Biosocial attitudes. Stories. What are some of your family themes? Custom? Holidays? Dreams or wishes? Family Boundaries Position-oriented family, there are sharp boundaries for family roles based on status and social identities related to sex and age.
A person-oriented family has flexible boundaries and allows a wide range of communication behaviors related to an individual's needs rather than her or his position in the family. Bio-social Attitudes Determine the way the family deals with Male and female identity. Authority and power. Rights of family members. Family Stories--Functions Sense of family identity. Lessons. Morals. Sense of connection. Tell your partner or small group a family story you have heard. The Family System Change affects everyone. Complex, adaptive, and information-processing. People act out what is wrong in their family system. The Family System Continued Factors outside the family affect the system. A family system creates its children's notions of reality when they are young. There are costs and rewards for belonging to a family system. Family Health What do you think are differences between functional and dysfunctional families? Most common problems facing dysfunctional families Unwillingness or inability to communicate about: Power struggles in the family. Differences in intimacy needs. Interactional difficulties. Family Conflicts A serious problem with conflict in families is that it may turn into verbal or physical aggression. Factors Associated with Aggression Acceptance of physical aggression toward a partner. Alcohol addiction or abuse. Coming from a family where violence was present. High levels of psychological aggression. Factors Associated with Aggression Jealousy. Marital conflict. Multiple instances per year of physical aggression over a two-year time span. Factors Associated with Aggression Personality problems such as borderline personality organization or aggressive personality style. Use of power and control tactics. High levels of hostility or anger toward a partner. Agree or Disagree? Most family members know how to communicate effectively; they just don't take the time to practice what they know. Family conflict is a symptom of deteriorating family relationships. Family conflict should be avoided at all costs. Most families function more effectively if there is one central leader. Ineffective communication is one of the most important factors leading to family conflict and family tension. Resolving Conflict It is better to focus on conflicts over small rather than large issues. It is better to recognize the differences in power and ability among participants than to ignore or minimize them. It is better to avoid solutions that fail to address important concerns of the participants. Many families operate effectively with one leader. Ineffective communication is one of the most important factors that leads to family conflict and family tension. A family system can change without being destroyed as long as family members understand that their histories are often the problem, and not the individuals, per se. A family system can develop the flexibility to accommodate bids for individuality. How can you improve family communication? Ideas from the book and your experience? Who, if anyone, plays these roles in your current family? The martyr. The favorite. The victim. The rebel. The peacemaker. The smart one. End Chapter 9 Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.Visuals from Microsoft or as indicated.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Electronic Mediated Communication [EMC] Has become pervasive in personal, academic, and business contexts and continues to grow in importance and types of techniques. EMC Examples blogs, cell phones, computer-conferencing , discussion boards, electronic mail, instant messages, photo-sharing communities, social networks (e.g., texting, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter), videologs, voiceover IP technology, such as Skyping and YouTube. What are the pros and cons you experience?
Rules of etiquette for the use of cell phones include: If you are engaged in face-to-face communication, keep talking and ignore your phone. Remove yourself from others so you can speak privately. Avoid using the speaker phone. Tell others in advance if you are waiting for an important call. Remember, any time you answer a phone call during a conversation with another person, you are saying "you're not as important to me as the person on the phone." Use voice-mail and caller ID so you can bypass unnecessary calls. Be sure your phone is turned off when you go to a class, library, meeting, conference, speech, interview, worship service, concert, film, recital, stage play, ballet, or court session. Avoid personal calls at the office. If you must use someone else’s cell phone, minimize the amount of time you use their service minutes. If you have a bad connection, hang up and find a better place to make the call instead of trying to talk over the static. Avoid discussing personal matters if you are in a public space. Follow the rules about wireless phone use in hospitals and on airplanes so you won’t interfere with sensitive electronic equipment. Sexting "Sexting is the sending of nude, semi-nude, or erotic pictures or video via cell phone." What are inherent problems in sexting or similar pictures in Facebook or other places. Locker, S. (2008, December 6). Sexting definition. Retrieved from http://sarilocker.com/blog/2008/12/06/sexting-definition/Cyber bullying Cyber bullying--also known as digital harassment--is mistreatment that takes place using an electronic medium. What examples have you seen or heard of regarding cyber-bullying?
Mitchell, A. (2004, January 24). Bullied by the click of a mouse. www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040124.wbully0124/BNStory/Stop Cyber-bullying Refuse to pass along cyber bullying messages. Block and report cyber bullying to the proper authorities. Never post or share your personal information online. Never share your passwords. Use virus and tracking detection programs. Be careful about meeting face-to-face.
Create a gender neutral E-mail name. No gender and personal information. Use E-mail signature that is businesslike. If you find yourself being victimized, the classic advice is to ignore the stalker. Even responding to their E-mail to say, ‘Leave me alone,’ just encourages them. Other ideas? How can you improve your online interpersonal communication? How can you use email effectively? A rule of good sense should be, "don’t say anything on the Internet that you would be ashamed for your family, boss, or best friend to read." How can you use blogging to improve interpersonal relationships? "A blog is a Website with dated entries, usually by a single author, often accompanied by links to other blogs. Think of a blog as one person’s public diary or suggestion list." Siemens, G. (2002, December 1). The art of blogging-part 1: Overview, definitions, uses and implications, p. 2. Retrieved from www.elearnspace.org/Articles/blogging_part_1.htmSocial Networking How can you use social networking to increase the quality of your interpersonal relationships? Check out recent Facebook statistics http://www.facebook.com/press/info.php?statisticsWhat are the pros and cons of social networking? MY SPACE YOUTUBE FLICKER How can you protect yourself from phishing? Compare key software http://phishing-zapper.en.softonic.com/compare/ad-aware,spybot-search-destroy,xoftspyseFacebook Quiz--True of False Do not post your phone number on FacebookFacebook's user interface, the result of its fundamentally collegiate, video gamer sensibility, is not designed to be an effective business tool. Facebook developers often spring new features on users without warning. Facebook phishing (scamming) is a reality.
All are true. What other advice do you have about using social networking for more effective interpersonal communication? Text messaging What are pros and cons of text messaging? Discuss ideas from the book and your personal experience. Example problems with texting. General deterioration of writing skills. Cheating in academic settings. Lessened ability to make own decisions because constantly consulting friends. Texting can be addictive. How do you use the Internet interpersonally? To make long-distance relationships feel closer? To meet new people? To create and sustain new relationships? To indulge in fantasies? To cover up for a lack of interpersonal skills? Try a technology free day Go for 24 hours with no cell phone, email, Internet use, or similar electronics. Discuss what you think will be effect (before) and what happened (after). After trying 24 hours, how about doing it for one week? Positives and Negatives of Internet Create a list of 5 possible positive and 5 possible negative effects of Internet use on interpersonal communication. USING AUGMENTATIVE AND ALTERNATIVE COMMUNICATION (AAC) View this video http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8343634176195671432&ei=JRRWS674LZSGqAPcqO2xBw&q=communication&hl=en# or another that provides information about the use of technology for assisting people with disabilities. Give a brief presentation on the topic to the class or your class team. End Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.Visuals from Microsoft or as indicated.
INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Mary J. Blige – Work – Be Yourself http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDiWzjIQsJM
THE SELF AND OTHERS Use positive self-talk. Affirmations, positive statements intended to guide positive thinking (e.g., "I am a kind person", "I can speak to others in social situations") can be constructive. Self-disclosure Self-disclosure must be appropriate. Self-disclosure allows others to understand you as well as helping you to understand yourself. Use personal pronouns—I, my—to indicate that you own the message as your personal perspective. Describe behavior without judgment or evaluation. Describe realistic and specific potential changes in behavior which can improve the quality of the communication. Adapt your message to the knowledge and interests of the other person. Make sure the nonverbal and verbal messages agree so your communication is believable. Repeat important messages through various channels. Avoid purposeless babbling just to keep a conversation going or allowing you to egospeak. What do you think constitutes a good friend? Personal Loyalty Physical attractiveness Sense of humor Similar educational level What do YOU look for in a friend? Approval-seeking behaviors can work against effective relationships Speak up. Follow personal goals. Accept yourself. Believe in yourself. What else? Self-fulfilled person The self-fulfilled person—the person who confidently chooses what to reveal and to whom—holds a positive self-concept and cannot be intimidated into self put-downs. Gaining Compliance Examples What works? What is ethical? What fosters good interpersonal relationships? Pregiving. Promising. Guilt. Compliments. Power Power is the ability to control what happens—to create things you want to happen and to block things you don't want to happen. The perception that power is bad may stem from several causes People can abuse power. Power contradicts the belief that all humans should be equal. Power can cause waste. Fair fighting
Recommended improvements in problem-solving skills Be honest. Admit mistakes. Speak second. Make sure you understand. Bite your tongue. Talk about your anger. Condemn claims, not claimers (not the person). Allow for feelings. Fix the future. Meet needs; don’t take positions. Favor cooperative pronouns regarding mutual problem solving. Handling Criticism When criticized, seek information. Paraphrase the ideas of the person making the criticism to clarify for both of you. Listen to the person and, if the criticism is just, accept his or her opinion. Apologies Apologies are not about who "won" or who "lost." Face-to-face Take responsibility. Explain. Show your regret. Repair the damage or at least try to lessen the emotional hurt. Use good timing. Choose an appropriate conduit. Small talk Questions encourage people to open up by drawing them out. Questions aid you in discovering the other’s attitudes. Questions keep the conversation to the topic at hand. Questions can be used to direct the conversation. Questions help you gain information and clarify meanings. Suggestions for conversational continuance Turn the spotlight on the other person. Listen closely for a nugget to explore that will interest you both. Keep it light. Try not to be nonverbally confrontational. Listening is a crucial part of conversations. Listen to the concerns of others. Don’t assume. Before speaking, ask yourself what message is needed. Direction giving Give specific details. Adapt to the listener’s knowledge level. Organize your ideas. Adapt to potentially different processing styles. Use understandable terms. Probing is to ask for information Ask for a restatement. Ask for definitions. Ask for clarification. Request information. Delivering bad news Provide full information or as much information as possible. Enlist the help of family and friends because many people receive bad news better when there is more than one person explaining the problem or tragedy. Take care of the person’s immediate needs. Listen empathically, don’t give advice. Don’t diminish the other person’s grief or loss by using trite statements such as "Everything will be all right" or "It’s okay, it’s not that bad "or, "I know how you feel." Encourage him/her to display their emotions. Help the person connect with support groups, training, or other useful professionals. You—as the bearer of bad news—may need special help and support yourself as a way to help you handle your own stress.
Creativity Creative thinking is looking for alternatives and ideas and expanding on and diverging from what is discovered. Value of creativity Creativity is essential if you hope to solve difficult mutual problems that conventional approaches can't settle. Creativity can keep you out of ruts. Creativity offers choices. Creativity can help relationships. How can you remove obstacles to creativity? Analytical breakdown is taking a complex problem and breaking it into its individual components, listing as many alternatives as possible for each component, combining the alternatives to create new variations.
Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.Visuals from Microsoft or as indicated. INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
Organizational culture is the shared personality or character of the organization as a whole. written and unwritten rules, company values. the framework for what is appropriate interpersonal communication at work. Organizational climate is the holistic perception of life in the organization, including the emotional or psychological dimensions conveyed through communication. Supportive Climate Task Orientation Collaboration, which may include being open-minded, willingness to consider other points of view, equality, using a team approach, information flow, spontaneity, openness, transparency, and empathy. People Orientation Description, which may include giving information, offering encouragement, paraphrasing, listening, being sensitive to diversity, and seeking to solve problems. An organizational hierarchy is a system which codifies a company’s ladder of command. hierarchy of top-down (traditional in US) flattened organization has fewer levels of employee status, Networking is the practice of creating a web of support and influence with other professionals. Professionalism (examples) Maintain confidentiality. Be honest. Set deadlines and meet deadlines. Admit your mistakes. Use respect.
Group collaboration or teamwork Commonly used communication pattern in about half of US organizations. Typical professional spends about 5-6 hours each week in meetings. 69% of workers said their meetings weren’t productive. What makes an effective leader? Communicate clearly. Confront others without offending them. Establish relationships. Work well with the majority of coworkers. Effective Leaders Keep confidential information secret. Keep promises. Show objectivity and sensitivity to others. Participate as a vital part of what needs to be done. Use perspective-taking (being able to see things from the point of view of others) Take responsibility for their own actions. Understand human dynamics and processes. Work well with others despite disagreements. How effective are you in interviews?
Types of Interviews Employment interview. Performance appraisal interview Information communication Corridor chatter Rumor mills Doing lunch Instant messaging Chat Grapevine Effective e-mail Avoid sensitive content in email. Avoid forwarding other people's emails. Keep your emails about a year. Avoid humor because it can be too easily misinterpreted.
Be careful about the" Reply to All" function. Be careful about whom you copy. You may want to cut earlier emails from you replies. Keep emails short. Know your employer's policies about emails. Rhetorical sensitivity is a learned skill, where a person uses words and nonverbal communication to adapt with flexibility to the people and context at hand. Effective communicators focus on the present interpersonal interaction Expressiveness, such as saying what you think or feel, articulating your position, and talking fluently. Language precision, such as using clear and direct language. Niceness, such as being kind, considerate, encouraging, and positive toward another person. Reflection, such as consideration, contemplation, and deliberation. Supportiveness, including being a good listener, having an open mind, and encouraging the other individual. Impression management is a skill where individuals pay attention to how they come across to others so that they make a good impression or impact. What specific behaviors can you employ to appear professional?
How can you use nonverbals effectively? Nonverbal immediacy is the use of non-word communication to generate a sense of interest and caring about the other person. Walk. Use of time. Handshake. What kind of power do you have? Legitimate power is a result of the status and prestige of their positions. Referent power emerges because of being liked or having good character. Expert power comes from a person's knowledge and skills.
Communication boundaries and needs Talk about appropriate content. Use an appropriate communication style. Don’t talk too much. Use honesty. Handle conflict well. Adapt to diversity Gender Differences Understanding the differences between the way men and women tend to communicate is critical in the workplace because it often determines salaries, promotions, and power. Examples Female Concerns Feeling dismissed, ignored, excluded, talked down to, or avoided. Being continually tested regarding knowledge and competence. Needing to "act like a man" to be taken seriously. Questioning one's self because of negative coworker treatment. Hearing that she only got the job because she's a woman (tokenism).
Examples of Male Concerns Confused about ground rules of appropriate behavior toward women coworkers. Avoiding women because at some point accused of sexual harassment. Believing there is reverse discrimination or over-compensation for women or minorities, which makes it harder for men in general.
Seeing women who don't support other women, so being hesitant to push for support of women coworkers. Being afraid that support of women will be perceived as something more than it is. Fearing spontaneity and authenticity with women at work because of possible misinterpretation or sexist charges. When leaving a job, keep positive and respectful connections.
How can you prevent violence and harassment in the workplace?
End Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. Visuals from Microsoft or as indicated. INSTRUCTOR'S MANUAL: Chapter summary 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Case Study Method - Syllabi Examples - Table of Contents
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